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Tuesday, October 11th, 2005
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It's finally fall here in Kentucky, after weeks of strangely warm weather. Soon there will be piles of leaves for me to rake, and for my nieces and nephews and Victornova to jump into. In a couple of weeks (or not, depending on the ficklness of weather in the Ohio River Valley!), sweaters will be brought out. Pies and stews, those foods that just seem to bring a comforting air to chilly weather, will be made. And we'll all ready ourselves for another cold winter.
I suppose that fall really has some sort of hold for me, because I did go for many years without it. Autumn just isn't quite the same in the desert. I suppose I always did feel like it was a comforting season, and it certainly does comfort me now.
In some ways, fall is the season of dying. Winter may be the season when everything is frozen and dead, and spring, after all, is the season of rebirth. But autumn is the season the actual process and preparation for the dying of winter. The leaves fall off the trees and animals prepare to hide themselves away.
In the desert, there no autumn. There was no preparation for the cold darkness that was to follow.
Now, however, there is preparation and awareness. Though the rest of the world may be preparing for winter, fall is the time for the comfort of friends and the light of a fire and for good food cooking. It is a season of spiritual renewal.
I do believe it is my season of rebirth.
I do believe that autumn can be my spring.
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Wednesday, October 5th, 2005
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| | The Window Shopper Random Gentle Love Dreamer (RGLDf)
Loving, hopeful, open. Likely to carry on an romance from afar. You are The Window Shopper.
You take love as opportunities come, which can lead to a high-anxiety, but high-flying romantic life. You're a genuinely sweet person, not saccharine at all, so it's likely that the relationships you have had and will have will be happy ones. You've had a fair amount of love experience for your age, and there'll be much more to come.
Your exact opposite: The Stiletto  Deliberate Brutal Sex Master | Part of why we know this is that, of all female types, you are the most prone to sudden, ferocious crushes. Your results indicate that you're especially capable of obsessing over a guy you just met. Obviously, passion like this makes for an intense existence. It can also make for soul-destroying letdowns.
Your ideal match is someone who'll love you back with equal fire, and someone you've grown to love slowly. A self-involved or pessimistic man is especially bad. Though you're drawn to them, avoid artists at all costs.
BEWARE: The Hornivore
CONSIDER: The Gentleman, The Loverboy, The Boy Next Door |
Link: The 32-Type Dating Test by OkCupid - Free Online Dating. My profile name: super_penny |
Soul-destroying letdowns, you say?
He always did have a penchant for sculpting.
Ah, I am up past my bedtime! This is what happens when one leads a life so devoid of a routine such as a job. I have lately been considering getting some sort of job, simply for the benefit of amusing myself. It might also be a good way to meet some new people. I have been thinking that a part-time job of some sort at my local-library might be a good way for me to get out of the house more often, but I suppose I do need to do some more thinking before I jumped into anything like that! I'd hate to leave Victornova. He would get lonely.
While walking Victornova today, I again ran into the owner of the collie. He and I struck up a bit of a conversation, and I learned that his name is David.
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Sunday, October 2nd, 2005
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I must apologize about my last post. I didn't mean to be such a downer! I suppose just contemplating the passage of time meant that I was thinking about subjects which bring out my sadder side. But in this post, on this lovely and unseasonably warm day, I choose to be happy!
Victornova and I just returned from a long walk, which I believe tired out both of us. He's making friends with a collie that lives several blocks over, one that is new to the neighborhood. And I will say, I wouldn't mind so much making friends with the fairly handsome man who tends to be out walking the collie while I'm out with Victornova. He and I have exchanged only a few pleasantries, however, so perhaps it's wiser not to begin building silly castles in the air. Not even castles on the earth, built of stone, can withstand all of life's blows. Even those castles will crumble, and leave you frightened and alone.
I have been invited to dinner with my sister and her family, so I am of course looking forward to that. It's always wonderful to see my sister and the sweet children. In some ways, I feel like my sister is trying to make up for lost time. There were so many years that we spent apart, when I was in boarding school, then in college, then overseas, living my former life. Years went by during which we only saw each other brief visits. Even holidays we usually spent apart, since she was hesitant to travel so far from home with young children, especially during the holidays, and since I usually had obligations at home, as the wife of such an important man! So, yes, now we can make up for that lost time.
Everything's not lost.
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Thursday, September 29th, 2005
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Indeed, much time has passed since my last entry. It would be splendid if I could say that so much time had passed because a change had occurred in my life which necessitated my withdrawal from the online world which I was just beginning to form, but that is not the case. Life has continued much as it always has. Or...much as it has since...before. Victornova is just as dear to me as he has ever been, if not more so. He and I spend our time together. The sun still rises and sets as I have always seen it do, no matter where I happened to be watching it from. My nieces are smarter, bigger, faster, sweeter, and more beautiful, and my sister and her husband continue to be amazing parents. Another tiny miracle arrived: a newphew named Samuel who is just beginning to walk and develop from a precious baby to a precious toddler.
They say that time heals all wounds. These past two years have been kind to the many that are close to me, however, I feel that it has left me behind. Time, why have you abandoned me? Why are my wounds not healed? Why does my heart still break every time I remember that...dreadful, dreadful night when the entire world came crashing down?
I've been told that I must not live in the past. That that's not what...anyone would want for me. But that leaves just two alternatives: to live in the future or to live in the present. Both alternatives seem equally daunting.
Perhaps this time, I will keep up my online communications with the everyone and no one that is the internet. Perhaps someone or something out there will allow my heart to heal.
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I hope everyone's having a lovely day. It's gorgeous out and should be lovely tonight at my sister's. I'm heading over a bit later. Victornova's very excited about seeing my sister's collie Lacey. He looks fetching in the American flag bandana I've put on him.
I'm going to water the flowers and do a little weeding before I head over to Allison's, but I just wanted to wish everyone a very happy Fourth of July.
My country 'tis of thee, sweet land of liberty, of thee I siiiing!!
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Pies are coming along nicely. Apple, of course, and cherry. My nieces' favourites. Kirsten likes apple and Eleanor likes cherry. I spoil them, so I made both kinds. My sister hates me when I spoil them, but it's the aunt's priviledge!! It's just too bad that they were too little when I was abroad. They would have loved the elephants. I really should take them to the zoo sometime soon.
Victornova met a cute pup on one of our walks today. A black lab named Darla. I must say, her "daddy" wasn't at all bad to look at either. I spotted a ring, though. You know, I can remember when I didn't look for things like that. I suppose you get to a certain age and you can never be sure. Maybe we'll see them again tomorrow. I'm sure Victornova would be happy. He is just the friendliest dog. My sweet pup.
Tomorrow's my sister's annual 4th of July barbeque. I'm looking forward to it, as always. Simon's pretty good with the grill (and you wouldn't think it to look at him, but hey, appearances can be deceiving...) and it's so sweet to watch all the kids do sparklers and things. They always invite all the children on their block. They run through the sprinklers and things of that nature. Children really are tiny miracles. Well, they definitely are when you don't have any of your own and you can hand them back to mommy when they get tired or cranky. Haha!
Alright, I think I'd better get back to baking. And then I am going to sit outside on my lawn chair with some iced tea and a good book. That sounds like a perfect July afternoon to me.
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I feel as though I am slowly but surely figuring out the foreign online world of livejournal. I feel pleased, but then, my father always proud of my ability to easily adapt to foreign situations with relative ease. It's helpful when you're the daughter of an important member of the State Department!
Today seems to be one of those days that, when it dawns, is not really certain whether it wants to be sunny or dreary. I suppose days like today are the best metaphors for life itself--unpredictable. For one moment, it's sunny. Life is happy and peaceful. You are in bliss, sipping iced tea and laughing at the peacocks on your lawn and the camels in your petting zoo. And, the next thing you know, it's clouded over and you can't be sure whether Cook, whose children you allowed to dress up in your second-best gowns and ride around the grounds on the camels, is a CIA operative or not.
Ah, but for the moment, the sun is out. And I must not try and bring out the clouds again! Today is looking to be a rather lovely day, rain or shine. I woke up bright and early and took a walk with darling Victornova down to the farmer's market. My pup is so funny--today he tried to convince me that we needed to purchase several large squashes. Unable to deny him anything, I indulged his whim. He doesn't like squash, but there's nothing to be done with a man who has made up his mind. He will forever be convinced of his rightness, even if you know, with all your heart, if he would listen to you, things would turn out infinitely better. There is just no arguing with a man who has made up his mind.
Today looks to be a pleasant, relaxing day. Most of it will be taken up with baking several pies. My sister has requested that I bring a couple to her gathering tomorrow, along with anything else I might bake! It's nice to be known for something that you yourself have done, and not to be in the midst of fame by association. I also think I'm going to bake a few pies for some talented young men in a singing group I've run across. Too young for me, of course, but I'm certain they would enjoy a homemade pie or two!
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Wednesday, July 2nd, 2003
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Well, I don't know if anyone's interested, but I thought I might answer one of these survey things to get started.
( You don't have to read it, of course... )
Wow. That took a really long time. My bread's almost done! I'm going to go get it. And maybe I will write some later. I'm not the best at sitting down at the computer for excessive periods of time. But I'll try.
Oh, and do you like my new icon? That's my pup!
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Hello, all. I have decided that it is time that I join the 21st century. Welcome to my Online Journal.
I suppose I should introduce myself. My name is Fiona Q. Pennywhistle (please, don't ask what the Q stands for. I won't tell you).
Oops, I have to run. Victornova is telling me he wants to go outside. I have a habit of spoiling him. But hell, who else am I going to spoil? ;-)
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